human: …and THIS little brush is what we use to polish the exposed bits of bone in our mouths! we call them “teeth” and the polish we use tastes like-
alien: yeah no that’s real cute asshole. you think we don’t brush our teeth. we mastered interplanetary travel but sure our breath smells like shit right? we’re visiting earth because we feel bad for you. did you know that? we have toothpaste flavors you could not even DREAM of. Quablar brand makes my breath smell like piblo fruit and makes me SEVEN INCHES TALLER for four hours. you think fucking Crest has shit on that?