Pointless LOTR headcanon of the day: Frodo & Merry both take after their mothers, meaning Frodo looks more like a Brandybuck than a Baggins and Merry looks more like a Took. This is a constant source of petty contention.
(Pippin meanwhile absolutely takes after his father & is the most Tookish looking)
Merry: call me a Took one more time
Gandalf: if it looks like a Took and acts like a Took it’s a Took
Merry: I will END you
Gandalf is the only nonhobbit in the fellowship who understands the minutiae of Took Vs Brandybuck Vs Baggins rivalry & he delights in it, everyone else baffled
Frodo: look it’s perfectly simple. The Brandybucks don’t like the Tooks because they play golf and think they’re better than everyone because they occasionally go on adventures. The Tooks don’t like the Brandybucks because they live on the wrong side of the river and like boats. And nobody likes the Bagginses because they’re annoying.
Aragorn: are you… Including yourself in that
Frodo: I said what I said.
Frodo: now the Bagginses don’t like the Brandybucks OR the Tooks because they’re highly disrepectable but also richer than they are. And as far as a lot of the Bagginses are concerned I’m a Brandybuck because I grew up in Buckland and I have the Brandybuck Profile
Merry: which just means he’s not pug-ugly
Frodo: quite.
Aragorn: this is all ridiculous. Keep going.
Gandalf: Hm now I wouldn’t say UGLY but… every Baggins I’ve ever met has been perfectly Round or perfectly Square… There is no middle ground.
Gimli, baffled: Frodo isn’t round OR square
Merry: that’s because he has the Brandybuck profile
Gimli: so… Is he a Brandybuck…
Merry: ABSOLUTE not
Frodo: slander!! I’m a Baggins how dare you
Pippin: was your father a Round Baggins or a Square Baggins
Frodo: my father… Was the ROUNDEST Baggins who ever lived… A perfect Sphere of hobbit…
It’s absolutely hilarious how tumblr has been taken off the apple store because of the wild shit on here. Yahoo really thought it was stepping into the social media market by obtaining this trash.
Yahoo execs when they found out what they really bought:
everyone sharing their twitters and other social media in case of this website experiencing an all-out collapse. not me. use the information you’ve learned about me to track me down. piece together the cryptic clues i have left throughout my blog over the years in preparation of this day to decipher the location of our future meeting. i’ll be waiting
If your response to hearing that someone has a lot of kids is “wow, ever heard of birth control?” maybe you should grow up and learn to mind your own business instead of trying to take other people’s happiness away from them. As unimaginable as it may seem to you that parents actually love and enjoy their kids, the greatest joy in life for a lot of people is being a mom or dad.
Who are you to say that’s not a worthy calling or that they aren’t doing it right?
I don’t know why, but I think some Americans don’t realise how big the UK is….
American Customer: you’re English right? Do you know the bookshop between Wales and Bristol that has lots of books in?
Me in my head: yeah mate, I know that one. Classic. Love to pop down there on a cheeky break between work. What a wanker…
the continuous 48 states are is almost 39x the size of the isle of great britan
that’s your answer
For reference:
That’s JUST Texas.
When will the UK learn that they are puny little ants in which to be crushed???
where’s that post where the british person was like “oh yeah i only get to see my dad 2-3 times a year because he lives so far away :/” and a person asked “oh no how far away is he?” and the british person said “75 minutes”
op it literally takes about 20 minutes to get to wales from bristol, op that’s a reasonable question do you understand geography
leave europe alone you fucking colonizers
It takes my mom an hour to drive to work. Sometimes more. Europeans are cowards.
Wide Spread Interests 