At the Hard Rock cafe where we had our Guitar Center student recital today:
Me: *pulls out pretzels*
My boss: if they come get onto you about bringing outside food, it’s all on you.
Me: they can either come yell at a pregnant woman and get yelled at back or they can come yell at a pregnant woman and make her cry, I can make either one happen at any moment.
My boss: my God, you’re the most powerful person in this place.
plot twist: the introverted character who doesn’t like big social gatherings or speaking in front of people is still an introvert by the end of the story because introversion is not a character flaw and it doesn’t need to be overcome
Look, I’ll go on your stupid adventure, but you better leave me the fuck alone when we get back.
Bilbo Baggins.
NOT A GOOD EXAMPLE HE WAS SO INTROVERTED HE USED A CURSED OBJECT TO GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE
THIS IS THE BEST BONUS STORY MARVEL HAS EVER PUBLISHED!!!
It’s funny b/c Spider-Man making no quips is usually code for “someone fucked up and Spidey’s on the warpath”. That’s probably why the fourth guy just said “uh-oh”.
not to mention since all the guys are actually conscious and upright in the van, it heavily implies that the villains, in fact, had just surrendered in naked TERROR, probably while begging Spidey to not rearrange their skeletons
the fishbowl head guy is Mysterio, who’s tangled with Spider-man enough times to know that when he’s not quipping, it’s generally a VERY bad sign, akin to when Batman starts smiling or LAUGHING.
about every time Spider-Man’s been quiet, near silent, or completely serious, it’s usually because someone’s screwed with his family badly and he’s hit the breaking point, or cause one of his loved ones is in danger/hurt/dying
[I had a crazy dream: I was a starfleet officer serving on DS9 and I had just been promoted to lieutenant. I was walking around when I passed Reginald Barclay. I noticed he had an admiral’s pips but didn’t say a thing other than “oh hey reg”. In comes Sisko, who throws him a salute, and I had a sudden realization of panic that I was a starfleet officer and I had just casually said hi to an admiral. I gave him a salute, but I woke up the most embarrassed I’ve been in a while.]
[I had a crazy dream: I was a starfleet officer serving on DS9 and I had just been promoted to lieutenant. I was walking around when I passed Reginald Barclay. I noticed he had an admiral’s pips but didn’t say a thing other than “oh hey reg”. In comes Sisko, who throws him a salute, and I had a sudden realization of panic that I was a starfleet officer and I had just casually said hi to an admiral. I gave him a salute, but I woke up the most embarrassed I’ve been in a while.]
there’s nothing purer or better than how much kids enjoy being picked up and then hurled at soft surfaces
anyone who’s ever been around kids for ay meaningful amount of time should know exactly how much kids long to be hefted up and then just fuckin tossed! it’s so good! they’re so excited to get fucking tossed around like a sack of potatoes it’s so pure
No ok but I actually met him. Several of my colleagues and students were hired to do some assessments for several manmade and natural ponds on his property. He wanted to maintain them with several different fish populations so that kids nearby could fish and have a good time.
While we were working he rode up in his four wheeler with a terrified look on his face. I never thought I would see a former football player on the verge of tears, but boy howdy he nearly was. Several of us stop what we were doing and go over to see what was up.
“I was running the tractor through the field and almost hit a fawn.” He says.
Now, for reference, it’s pretty common to have farmers run over and kill fawns. The defense mechanism of fawns when they are young is to lay down low and not move…which obviously isn’t great for when there’s a tractor. It happens all the time, but it can be pretty bloody. It’s not a pretty sight.
So, thinking that maybe such a gory scene unnerved him and that we may have to dispose of the body, I say “Mr. Brown, is the fawn still alive?”
He says “Yes, I took it to the barn…but I’m afraid the mom won’t take it back because it has human scent on it.”
The myth about “human scent” is a common one, but it’s just that…a myth. But still, this guy was absolutely terrified that this little deer was going to live the first few weeks of its life without a parent. He was distraught.
Luckily my professor/boss was like “Don’t worry Mr. Brown, if you return the fawn relatively close to the spot that you found it, the mother will come back. The human scent thing is just a myth. The fawn will be alright, just be sure to keep the barn quiet so that the fawn doesn’t panic.”
Mr. Brown’s face lit up and he let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God” he said “I was so worried.”
And that’s the story of how I met the sweetest man ever: Mr. Jason Brown.
Wide Spread Interests 