i just want to let ya’ll know i was never asked out to a school dance in high school and have never been on a date in all 24 years of my life. i’m not mad about it, just trying to normalize it.
I was never asked out in high school either and I was in my twenties when I started dating. I’m glad I’m not the only one who wants to normalize that. It made me feel like I was a freak/unlovable for the longest time and if someone were there to tell me “it’s ok you’re not weird for that” it would have made a huge difference to me.
I spent SO MUCH time in high school trying to figure out what was wrong with me. Even the weirdest dorks I knew had dated each other at least. I thought maybe I just put out a bad vibe or something until finally my senior year a girl I was friends with mentioned that she’d never had a boyfriend. And she was so… normal? She was pretty and nice and funny and had lots a friends. I was like ok… if she’s never dated anyone and there’s nothing wrong with her maybe there’s nothing wrong with me either lol
So TECHNICALLY I did not meet my husband online, nor did we do online dating, but before we dated and were just friends, we would message each other ALL the time. We talked about everything and anything and it made it easy for the two of us to catch up inbetween the rare occassions we could meet up. It also was fun showing him my digital art and for him to share his progress with his video game stuff. By the time we were ready to date, we knew a lot about each other already and a lot of that is thanks to just messaging each other on facebook. Without it, it would have been harder and longer to know one another better. In that way, cyberspace helped us connect.
Dating in general can be awkward and messy especially if you are new to it or having bad luck, but online dating can offer new possibilities and options you did not have before. The worst that could happen is that you delete your account because you aren’t getting anywhere.
COMMUNICATE. Don’t expect people to read your mind. TELL THEM WHAT YOU WANT/EXPECT.
If this guy cares about you, he will want to make you happy. He just needs to know how.
If you’re still not sure that communication is necessary in relationships, go read the lyrics to Escape (the piña colada song). Then imagine if the characters in the song had had one (1) conversation about what they each wanted from a relationship.
It’s honestly really baffling to me that not communicating is actively used as relationship advice. Like for a personal example, my girlfriend loves to eat. She’s joked more than once that her favorite food is “all of them”. But she can’t eat chocolate because it exacerbates her headaches. If I hadn’t asked her about if she had food allergies or anything like that, I’d never have known, and I’m sure that somewhere down the line I’d have tried to surprise her with a huge chocolate dessert and made her sick because I’d just have assumed that she loved chocolate.
Please don’t just make assumptions about the person you’re planning on spending your life with, TALK TO THEM ABOUT EVERYTHING.
Every woman has different needs and tastes and that’s why dating is important: you learn about each other. Even after dating people change so you gotta speak up.
And beyond that, why are men expected to be the performers? Men have their needs too.
Wide Spread Interests 