Honest question: are Christians ever allowed to be sad? I hear a LOT about how everything that happens is for the best and how we can’t know His plan, but like if my parents died tomorrow in a car accident I wouldn’t really be able to instantly jump to “well it’s all for the best that I lost basically my only family!”
Yes we are allowed to be sad.
Jesus cried when Lazarus died even though He knew He would just resurrect him. We’re definitely allowed to be sad, it doesn’t mean you don’t trust God. God wants us to be honest about what we feel. Plus, He likes to comfort us, He can’t do that if we’re never allowed to be sad.
In Luke 22.44, Jesus – God Himself – was so anxious and upset that He was about to be arrested and crucified that He literally began to sweat blood (a very real phenomenon that still happens today in situations of EXTREME stress)
And in Mark 14.34 Jesus – again GOD HIMSELF INCARNATE – LITERALLY said, “the weight of my sorrow is crushing me to the point of death.”
We are allowed to be sad – distraught – even depressed as Christians; we are allowed to feel it, to cry and to kick and scream in God’s arms and presence. What we should refrain from doing is let that sadness and fear have control over us.
It’s one thing to let yourself feel sadness, to let yourself cry and to take time to heal, because it’s a totally normal human emotion, and another thing entirely to lose your mind or entire sense of self control because of it.
Yes Jesus experienced sadness and let it happen, but He still rested in the hope that all that He was going through would work for the glory of God;even amongst His sadness, He had hope
This is called endurance: suffering, but doing it patiently and with a hope that you are on God’s heart, mind and that your life is in His hands
Tag: emotions
So many churches are raising young people to see the Holy Spirit as a force that primarily exists to make you “feel things” in worship. That you know you’ve been Touched™ because you have goosebumps and feel like crying or whatever.
I’m not downplaying the emotional impact an encounter with the spirit can illicit. That’s real. But when we place such an emphasis on our human response, we can make people who don’t experience these heightened emotions feel like they aren’t being filled with the spirit.
I’ve seen it happen before. “I felt nothing in worship”, “I’m in a spiritual rut”, “Why aren’t I being filled?”. The spirit is so much more than what you feel on a Sunday. Look at your fruits, look at God’s work in your life. That’s where you’ll find evidence of the spirit.
I know from experience how dangerous this is. Emotions are incredibly fickle; salvation is not. Just because you feel “blah” some days doesn’t mean you’re suddenly farther from God than you were yesterday.
My emotions are valid*
*valid does not mean healthy, or good, or to be privileged above common sense and kindness
A distinction for anyone who is young and hasn’t figured this out yet:
You are allowed to have whatever emotions you want. No one can control your emotions. Emotions are healthy responses to things.
You are not allowed to have behaviors that are harmful just because you have certain emotions. Your behaviors are what you can control, and they are far easier to control than your emotions.
You can be jealous about someone or their talents until you turn green, but it is harmful to yourself and to that person if you try to sabotage them because of it. You can be so angry you can literally feel your temperature rise, but this does not give you permission to rage at others.
Your emotions are valid. They are always valid. You are a person of value. However, you behaviors are not always justified just because of those emotions. You may not be able to control you emotions, but you can certainly control your behaviors.
“You may not be able to control your emotions, but you can certainly control your behaviors.”
I fucking hate it when you’re in such a fantastically giddy mood and then you see one simple little thing that makes you think, “oh” and then you just get this empty feeling in your chest and you get nauseous and the world just crumbles and you want to just lay under a blanket and close your eyes and fall asleep and never wake up.
From what my therapist told me, this happens because our emotions aren’t really on the ‘opposite’ ends like we tend to think of it. Happiness is not ‘up’ and sadness is not ‘down’-. In a way they’re actually right ‘next’ to each other.
If you’re super happy, it can turn into super sad very easily, because your emotions are already highly elevated and it’s only a very minor shift as far as your brain is concerned.
Knowing this can help you fight it, and it can help you be more aware of what’s going on while you’re happy and help avoid shifting towards misery.
I used to always wonder why it seemed like my happy days ‘couldn’t last’ or that bad things would ‘always’ happen when I was happy. It’s not that happiness is doomed to fail, it’s that emotions are volatile. I hope that helps people who experience this too- when you understand what’s going on more it’s easier to manage.
Wide Spread Interests 