Tag: lol

vampireapologist:

vampireapologist:

whenever i see a baby in public i wish i were like a powerful faerie god mother character who could give the baby a gift like “you’ll never get a cold” or “math will always make sense to you” or something like bein’ great with string instruments but I don’t have any powers that I know of but it doesn’t stop me from trying so every time I see a baby in public I tell the adult with it “what a beautiful baby” and it makes them smile and then I pretend I can take the goodness of their smile and I look at the baby and I think very hard “you will have a good life, even if it’s hard, you will end up happy” and I’m just hopin’ the magic kicks in at some point

faerie: for your service, I will grant you one boon

me: cool can it be the power to grant boons

faerie, looking through the manual: uh,

squided:

tlitookilakin:

engineer-pearl0:

tastefullyoffensive:

“Not use collective punishment as it is not fair on the many people who did nothing and under the 1949 Geneva Conventions it is a war crime.”

Wait it’s a fucking WAR CRIME?!?! I mean that might not be 100% accurate but now I gotta know

holy crap, collective punishment is a war crime.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fourth_Geneva_Convention#Collective_punishments

and according to the exact legal phrasing-

No protected person may be punished for an offense he or she has not personally committed. Collective penalties and likewise all measures of intimidation or of terrorism are prohibited.

This technically counts, as students are civilians, and thus considered a “protected person”. So yes, collective classroom punishment breaks the fourth Geneva Convention, and she should be rewarded for standing up for human rights and doing her research.

Power-move: accuse your teacher of a war crime using knowledge they supplied you with

gwux:

vampireapologist:

cows are so wild like here I am walking through a field surrounded by 30, 1200 pound animals who are Fully Convinced I am capable of killing them with my bare hands so they are dutifully cautious of me

but then sometimes they suddenly think “hey wait…maybe WE could kill HER” and they start getting uppity so I have to pick up a stick and walk toward them as if I could do anything about it and they think

“oh hm wait….she has a branch now……… … We wouldn’t stand a chance……”

oh cows know about sticks

authorgirl1111:

marvel-ous-shitposts:

Peter: *texting* hey Mr. Stark do u think hypothetically if I drank bleach like a smoothie I would die or would my healing factor take care of it?

Peter: MJ said I would die Ned said I wouldn’t you’re the deciding vote

Peter: Mr. Stark?

Tony:

Tony: exactly how hypothetical is this, kid??

Peter:

Peter:

Peter:

Tony: tell me exactly where you are right this minute I’m coming over

Peter Immediately after he hangs up: You guys were right that did work! 

gotinterest:

orion-rising:

inbox847:

acetonystark:

ok so since the Russo brothers confirmed that animals and plants and the like all died in the snap,,,,,,, that means dogs died too,,,,, and lemme tell ya if ANYTHING happened to my dog earth wouldn’t even NEED the avengers I’d mcfucking d e s t r o y thanos myself because NO ONE FUCKING MESSES WITH MY DOG NOT EVEN A CRUSTY ASS RAISIN WITH A ROCK COLLECTION

Wait so

Waait

He removed half the consumers of resources in the universe

Because there were not enough resources

A

And

Also removed

Half the resources

?

Wow purple joss whedon really is an idiot.

Just like the flesh colored one