The older I get the more fiercely protective I get of younger girls. I was heading into work yesterday and I saw that 12 year old (I mentioned her before, the one who wore makeup) talking to this older man. She’s normally really bubbly but she looked a little more subdued talking to him so I go over and loudly say “Hey sweetheart, who’s this?” And the guys just glares at me and she says “oh um his name is Justin.” And I’m like “Hi Justin, how do you know her?” And he gets nervous and is like “I just saw her jogging and thought I’d give her pointers.” So I just kinda tilted my head and looked at him for a minute. He literally asked me “are you a cop or something? I haven’t done anything wrong.” So I took her to the McDonald’s near by, bought her something and had a talk about not talking to strangers. Low key I’m debating the next time I see her parents (they drop her off at the gym and leave her there for hours) to maybe have a talk with them or something. Idk if it’s my place tho
Just to add because some messaged me saying that I was being a nosey bitch: so a woman who used to go to my gym (and my same university. Like I used to see her at my job and on campus) actually went missing not far from my intersection (literally a 5 min walk away from the major intersection) on may 10 and they found her body literally last week (June 19). Everyone has been on high alert lately so when I saw this random dude talking to this little girl, my brain immediately went into defence panic mode. So yeah call me nosey if you want
This world could use more nosey b*tches.
I’ll stop being a nosey bitch when males stop being predators
Always be a nosy bitch where young girls are concerned. Always be a nosy bitch where creepy old men are concerned
His first reaction was to go on the defensive and ask if she was a cop. HE WAS UP TO NO GOOD AND KNEW IT. That girl he was talking to was 12. TWELVE.
Be a nosey bitch til the day you die. No regrets.
Pleas be nosey. If this was my little 11-yo sister I would want every adult woman near her to be “nosey” as fuck. Protect our girls!!!
-S
Tag: tricky people
As important as it is to teach kids and teens about “tricky adults” we must also teach them how to handle their peers who are also preying on them. My assaulter was nine years old, his buddy was eight, and both of them assaulted me because of what they found in porn. THEY WEREN’T EVEN TEENS YET AND THEY SAW PORN.
So many young kids are being exposed to porn either because their parents do not connect with them regularly and have unrestrained internet access, or because another child/adult showed it to them. And it is not uncommon for a child who was assaulted to act out and do similar things to other kids too. This reality of porn and assault happening to children so young is creating a generation of broken youth who are told about Chester the Molestor down the street but not about Bobby Joe or Bessie Jane next door who is hypersexual and targets their friends.
Talk to your kids about porn, sex, and boundaries, at age appropriate levels. Role play with the younger ones on what to do if they are dealing with a tricky kid or tricky situation, and where to go if they are touched in a way they do not want to be touched. Give your teens space to talk about their fears and worries about their drama at school because as silly as you think it is, there may be more under the surface and you need to be there for them to trust you.
Watch out for tricky kids/teens. They are there too.
“Tricky People” Are the New Strangers
Right after Diddy was born, I was in the car listening to NPR and I heard a child safety educator say, “Stop telling your kids not to talk to strangers. They might need to talk to a stranger one day. Instead, teach them which sorts of strangers are safe. You know who’s safe? A mom with kids. Period. Your kid gets separated from you at the mall? Tell her to flag down the first mom with kids she sees.”
This was fantastic advice. I have shared it with everyone who will listen, ever since.
Last month, I finally got to meet the woman who’d said this brilliant thing, when I had the enormous good fortune of attending a kid’s safety seminar led by Pattie Fitzgerald of Safely Ever After. Safely Ever After offers seminars to adults and children on the subject of “keeping kids safe from child molesters and abuse.”
I didn’t seek Pattie out. I don’t spend every moment of the day worrying that my kids are going to end up in white slavery. But Diddy and Gaga’s preschool offers the material to parents of pre-K students as a preamble to teaching it to the pre-K kids, and Diddy’s a pre-K kid, so I went to hear what Pattie had to say. (And in light of all the Miramonte Elementary madness, I am thrilled I did.)
If it makes you uncomfortable to think about offering this sort of material to a 5 year-old, let me reassure you by saying our school offers an opt-out. But after spending a morning listening to Pattie’s presentation, I can honestly say I would have let her go teach my 3 year-old about “tricky people.” If the boys could understand it, I’d have her come over and talk to them, too.
And they’d like it. Really. I did. Sitting around listening to all the horrible things that could happen to your kids might not sound like a good time — but oddly enough, with Pattie Fitzgerald, it is.
For one thing, Pattie knows her stuff, and I felt confident that her information was accurate and her advice studied and strong. For another, she’s pretty funny — so the material she presented never felt horribly gloom-and-doomy so much as matter-of-fact and manageable.
FOR INSTANCE:
- It is unlikely your kid is going to be abused by a weirdo at the park (huge sigh of relief).
- That said, if there is a weirdo at the park, he’s not going to fit the “stranger” model — so stop teaching your kid about strangers! He’s going to come up to your kid and introduce himself. Voila! He ain’t a stranger anymore.
- Teach your kids about TRICKY PEOPLE, instead. TRICKY PEOPLE are grown-ups who ASK KIDS FOR HELP (no adult needs to ask a kid for help) or TELLS KIDS TO KEEP A SECRET FROM THEIR PARENTS (including, IT’S OKAY TO COME OVER HERE BEHIND THIS TREE WITHOUT ASKING MOM FIRST. Not asking Mom is tantamount to KEEPING A SECRET.)
- Teach your kids not to DO ANYTHING, or GO ANYWHERE, with ANY ADULTS AT ALL, unless they can ask for your permission first.
See how I said ANY ADULTS AT ALL? That’s because:
- It’s far more likely your kid is going to be abused by someone they have a relationship with, because most cases of abuse follow long periods of grooming — both of the kid and his or her family.
- Bad guys groom you and your kids to gauge whether or not you’re paying attention to what they’re doing, and/or to lure you into dropping your guard. Don’t. Kids who bad guys think are flying under their parents’ radars, or kids who seem a little insecure or disconnected from their parents, are the kids who are most at risk.
SO:
- Be suspicious of gifts that adults in positions of authority give your kids. There’s no reason your son should be coming back from Bar Mitzvah study with a cool new keychain or baseball hat.
- Be suspicious of teachers who tell you your kid is so special they want to offer him more one-on-one time, or special outings. That teacher who says your kid is into Monet, he wants to take him to a museum next weekend? Say thanks, and take your kid to go see the exhibit yourself.
- You know that weird adult cousin of yours who’s always out in the yard with the kids, never in the kitchen drinking with the grown-ups? Keep an eye on your kids when he’s around.
- Oh, and that soccer coach who keeps offering to babysit for free, so you can get some time to yourself? NO ONE WANTS TO BABYSIT YOUR KIDS JUST TO BE NICE.
And, here’s another good reason to add to the PANTHEON of reasons to teach your children the anatomically correct names for their genitalia:
- There isn’t a child molester on earth who’s going to talk to your daughter about her vagina. Really. But if she suddenly starts calling it a cupcake, you can ask her who taught her that.
*
Ultimately, after spending an hour with Pattie, I felt LESS worried, not more. That, to me, is the number one sign of a good book or seminar about parenting — it doesn’t stress you out.
And you know why Pattie Fitzgerald and Safely Ever After won’t stress you out?
BECAUSE SHE’S CHOCKFUL OF CHECKLISTS!
She’s got a PREVENTION TIPS list, a RED FLAGS & WARNINGS list, and my personal favorite, a THE SUPER-10, PLAY IT SAFE FOR KIDS AND GROWN-UPS! list.
Check out Pattie’s site. Read her material, buy her kids book, organize a bunch of like-minded parents to take her seminars. I promise you’ll feel better after — and way safer — when you do.
– See more at: http://www.checklistmommy.com/2012/02/09/tricky-people-are-the-new-strangers/#sthash.GW5D9XV9.dpuf
Wide Spread Interests 